Grandma and the Family Tree

Author Unknown

Adapted by Jennifer Ann Turley and Judy Bresch

There’s been a change in Grandma; we’ve noticed her of late,

She’s always reading history or jotting down some date.

She’s tracking back the family; we’ll all have pedigrees.

Oh, Grandma’s got a hobby; she’s climbing Family Trees.

She’s always on the Internet her eyes are bloodshot red,

It’s midnight or 2:00 am before she finally goes to bed.

With sleep she can’t be bothered because she’s busy as a bee

Compiling genealogy — for the Family Tree.

She has no time to baby-sit; the house is such a fright,

No buttons left on Grandpa’s shirt, the flowerbed’s a sight.

She’s given up on cooking, watches nothing on TV,

The only thing she does these days, is climb the Family Tree.

She goes down to the library and studies ancient lore.

We know more about our forebears than we ever knew before.

The books are old and dusty; they make poor Grandma sneeze,

A minor irritation when you’re climbing Family Trees.

The mail is all for Grandma, it comes from near and far,

Last week she got the proof she needs to join the DAR.

A worthwhile avocation, to that we all agree,

It’s a monumental project to climb the Family Tree.

Now some folks came from Scotland and some from Galway Bay,

Some were French or English, some German, all the way.

Some went West to stake their claim, some stayed near the sea,

Grandma hopes casino online to find them all as she climbs the Family Tree.

She wanders through the graveyards in search of date or name,

The rich the poor, the in-between, all sleeping there the same.

She pauses now and then to rest, and prays while on her knees

To thank God for divine help, with the growth of our Family Tree.

There were pioneers and patriots mixed in our kith and kin

Who blazed the paths of wilderness and fought through thick and thin.

But none more staunch than Grandma, whose eyes light up with glee

Each time she finds a missing branch for the Family Tree.

Their skills were wide and varied, from carpenter to cook

And one (Alas!), the record shows, was hopelessly a crook.

Blacksmith, farmer, teacher, judge, captain of the sea

Long lost in time, now all recorded on the Family Tree.

To some it’s online casino just a hobby; to Grandma it’s much more,

She knows the joys casino online and heartaches of I”m not even an American, but I wouldn”t want some immature shallow prick like lyrics to baby by justin bieber running my city/county/whatever the hell you Americans call itBieber vs BieberThis Adam guy can take his ass back to Canada, too!Boring. those who went before.

And to the temple they will go, none forgotten, no siree,

Because Grandma climbed out on a limb of our great Family Tree.

They loved, they lost, they laughed, they wept, now lie forever still.

The joys they shared, the lives they led, will be examples ‘till

We meet them in the great beyond and hug them, you will see

Then we”ll call them each by name ‘cause Grandma climbed the Family Tree.

We thought when she was finished the agony would end

But then one day she got a call from one of her old friends

Sad to relate, the friend came by to visit for a spell,

We talked about the Gospel, and other things as well

Then sure enough, our hopes were dashed, of course they had to be

When somehow conversation turned to Grandma”s Family Tree.

We tried to change the subject, we talked of everything,

But then in Grandma”s voice we heard that old familiar ring.

She told her all about the past and it soon was plain to see,

Her dear old friend was starting Grandma up her Family Tree.

She never knew her Grandpa, his mother”s name was ..Clark?

She and Grandma talked and talked, outside it grew quite dark.

We”d hoped our fears were groundless, but just like some disease,

Grandma”s become an addict— She”s hooked on Family Trees.

We got out pens and paper, fired up the database,

Prepared for what would follow the words our Grandma”d say,

“It sure is lucky you”re here today, because you will come to see,

I know exactly how it”s done, let”s climb your Family Tree!

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